so here's the big secret: we are all people are afraid. we are afraid of the things that we know, and of the things that we don't know. we are afraid that it'd be too painful, and we are afraid that it might only get much more worse. while i don't quite understand how things went wrong so quickly, i sat there thinking about what might happen next. and i guess i'm too young to believe that everything is going to be fine, or anywhere near okay. today's experience really made me think how fragile life is, and how it can end in a matter of seconds.
everyone was just sitting around, and one by one, everyone started breaking down. i was still unsure of what was happening, but i couldn't bring myself to ask either. i wasn't ready to hear any news about anything. all i know, is that the very bad news has yet to reach the old man sitting in the wheelchair.
he sat there, alone and looked as if he already knew what was coming. his expression says it all. then, slowly he began to understand what was really happening. he had trouble hearing and sometimes he couldn't understand what the person was trying to say. at one point of time, he looked overwhelmed and was about to break down too. and as the person walked away from him, he seemed more distant than before.
the next 3 days are going to be very intense. because the next 3 days will determine what is going to happen next. and honestly, i do not like either of the options. i am praying that this phase will pass very quickly, and i'm praying that she is really going to be okay. my father said her will to go through anymore of this had very much died, so she needs us mroe than ever now. she must be in a tremendous state of pain, and my heart broke when i saw her, with all those tubes injected into her body. she hates injections the most, i was told.
i pray, with all my heart and soul; i pray that the life support machine that was already on standby would never be used. may Allah help her this time again.
(enter my name here)
Labels: the world as it is
