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the not-so-anonymous moi

Shafienas Salleh - 18 on going 19.
I believe that a girl can dream any dream she wants.

Laugh. Dance. Love.
That one day will come.

who said what here



3 cheers to yesterdays

November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010

adieu to you too

aminah
fatimah
fazari
haikal
haniffa
hazel
jannah
munirah
musfirah
raidah
safiah
wida


credits

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Sunday, July 18, 2010
Everytime I think of you, I will write about you. This is for my first one.
12:02:00 PM

If there's anything left that I'd want to say to you, it is that I never want you to forget me. I want you to remember us, and to remember that we will always have each other.

Even if all that meant nothing to you, even if we found someone else, even if we have truly moved on, even if it was something in the past, please remember me as I will remember you. Even if you're going to change tomorrow, who you have been and who you are to me never will (not even when there is someone else better)

You have always been a constant for me. But now that you're no longer here, I guess I'll just have to live without it. Please know that I am so proud of you. I am so happy seeing how happy you've been, how happy you are and how happy you will always be with all those people.

When we meet each other again, let's stop whatever we're doing and smile thankfully. When we can talk like before, let's just sit someplace together. When we can laugh, cry, get angry, annoy each other again like before, let's be the best of friends - yes, just like before.

p.s. I still remember how you only call me by my name, and how we would stay up till late at night, knowing we still have each other on the other side of the line. I still remember our first day.

(enter my name here)

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Thursday, July 08, 2010
What forgetting him means.
11:22:00 PM

It is not about looking at things your way and wondering why he isn't here. It is not about trying to recall what we talked about last night. It is not about thinking where we went wrong. It is not about letting go and acting as if it never happened. It is not about not being able to smile the same way, going to bed crying.

It is about telling him to find the happiness you didn't get to give him. It is about not waiting for the calls to come tonight, or any other nights to come. It is about cherishing all the happy memories, and knowing that they are now just memories. It is about thanking God that it did happen, because we were happy that we met each other. It is about waking up, feeling that life still goes on the anyway. Just as what goes up and comes down, what goes around comes around.

If all this while it had been rainbows and sunny days, I knew that this day would eventually come. Even if I don't understand why, I take it that it was time. Time just wasn't on our side. By the time I could get back to you, you were done waiting. But I hope all this wait wasn't a regret. I hope it wasn't a mistake, but instead it was a pleasure. And given time, I am sure we can eventually laugh this off, even if we can't even smile right now.

I don't have to know what he is doing, how he is doing and where he is going. I just want us to be happy, even if that means without being with each other. And even though there is nothing to talk about, this is one story I will always remember.

Take of yourself; And above all, goodbye.

(enter my name here)

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