Shafienas Salleh - 18 on going 19.
I believe that a girl can dream any dream she wants.

Laugh. Dance. Love.
That one day will come.





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aminah
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11:11:00 PM

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

10:01:00 PM

Monday, February 23, 2009

11:11:00 PM

day of the week

9:08:00 PM

PARADA OLYMPICA rocks my socks! oh yes - this is the best cross-country run i've ever had in my entire 17teen years of life. well, that's besides the fact that i was excused for 3 years because of  reasons too silly to be shared (ok fine, because the pathetic coach said netballers can't afford risking getting injured during the run, and instead they should be training - WTH!) and the only time i ever ran, it was less than half of the entire course. 

but oh no, it was definitely NOT because all the fun house-bonding shit and all, or even because i'm a PHOBOS blablabla, but it was because of the one side-glance that made me go gaga; seriously. okay, you're lost but chillax, i'll explain further.

oh remember the BRUTAL plan i mentioned on saturday's post? HAHA - oh yes, it was a definite success! okay fine, maybe not 100%, but that's not the point. okay the race goes like this: you have the competitors from every house running first, then you have the mascot run, which basically is where you have all those non-competitors running with their house mascot. how surprisingly, you'd realise, that i do not fall under both cases fully.

you see, we girls (nadirah and i) wanted to escape from the run that badly, to the extent that we even brought extra p.e. shirts so that we could disguise ourselves as officials (because all the rest who are non-officials would be wearing their respective house t-shirts). but then somehow, that plan didn't work out. so as the competitors began their run, nadirah and i were literally crying out loud because i swear i thought we really had to do the running. and then suddenly, just before the first house started on their mascot run, both of us were already on the way to the toilet. yes, so now you get the idea how the story goes? but wait, it was on our way to the toilet that rocks shit! our oh-so-hotstuff mama-mia was about to pass by us (as in he was going in the opposite directions since he's one of the competitors completing the race already) and he GLANCED OVER at us! 

oh holy! i swear at that moment i wanted to just melt and make him stop running. oh-my-sheesh-kebabs! it was less-than-a-second kind of thing but seriously, you had to be there. by now, we assumed that he had already noticed our oh-so-obvious stares, and for that i got the green light from nadirah to continue trying to be his friend, even though i doubt i'd ever be one. and then of course, being the good friends that we were, we cheered on for the other competitors who we knew. throughout this, we were the outstanding 2 girls in red surrounded by atlas (yellow). oh yes - how oh-so-obvious!

we waited for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to escape more of the run. by now, we had walked about 0.5km out of the 3.3km run. i had a plan of how to escape another 2km at least, which was to stay at a nearby hut. but then we decided not to risk getting caught by the teachers so that plan was cancelled too. then triton (green) passed the toilet, and we were still figuring out what to do next, regretting our stupid decision to not change into the pe shirts and also still not getting over the fact that mama-mia looked over, amongst other people.

then, as miranda (black) past the toilet, we joined the crowd, again! the officials looked at us and we smiled back along with our innocent faces. everyone were running as a house, and here you have two 'lost' souls literally taking a stroll by the beach. you can't blame us, every house that passed us did the exact same thing! they ran for 1 min, and walked for the next 10 mins. 

oh here comes the part where we had to prove ourselves worthy of being a drama member! after about 1km of walking after the hide-out at the toilet, we met with our p.e. teacher. here's how the conversation went. {try to imagine my oh-so-pitiful look and double that with nadirah's great acting!}

teacher: eh what are you two doing here?

nadirah: huh? oh teacher, we're lost. because just now, we went to the toilet ah. then we didn't know if Phobos had went on without us or not, so we just walked la.

shafienas: ya, then we can't find them so now, we don't know what to do.

teacher: Phobos haven't gone yet. you play cheat la, the two of you?

nadirah: no teacher, really we are lost. i got stomach ache just now. so now how? we don't know where to go from here.

shafienas: oh Phobos haven't go ah? tsk alamak. . .

teacher: okay nevermind, you just wait here, until your house comes.

nadirah: oh okay, later we'll just join them la. okay thank you teacher.

oh God! that was just hilarious! she really fell for our act! we were both well aware that 3 houses had gone first and that Phobos were on their way. but they were really really really slow! the gap between the first 3 houses were only about 2 min away. so as we wasted more time by walking step by step, finally we heard the noise from behind. we saw a familiar face wondering how we had gotten far ahead of the rest of the house, but oh, that familiar face then just ignored us like we were total strangers! talk about house spirit, yes?

as the 2 of us girls finally blended in with the right kind of colours, we did some running of course. but then, most of the times, we were walking briskly. we saw jannah, and she told us to touch her hands, because of yes, you-know-who-touched-them to get the ticket. (she was standing at the pint where the course turns back like a U-turn.) then as the entire house walks on towards the finishing point, we had talked to many who either went on in front of us, or just drop back to take a break. amongst them, the girl who didn't stop exploring! HAHA - funny encounter there, but i'll save that for another day. just remember, i am shafienas. you can never be too sure if you're talking about what i know, and what i don't. {LOL - i sound like a bitchy gossip girl. yeah yeah go on and hate my guts, see if i'd care.}

at the end of the day, it wasn't the fact that we actually did ran a couple of km, or even all the singing and the smiling, but it was that one side-glance that made it a better day. we were sweating like crazy, but it was definitely NOT because of that stupid run - for me! i was beyond overly-happy, and the day couldn't have been better. it's funny how some things can just brighten up your day, don't you think? and of course, it's funny too how some things just don't fail to not make it a better day. so the three of us (jannah, nadirah and i) were nothing but feeling pure bliss. we just couldn't stop smiling, even as we stink and sweat. we had a really quick drink after the race, did some catching up with what happened and then, next stop: 

HOME SWEET HOME

i guess you've read enough of what i deemed as DAY OF THE WEEK.

(enter my name here)

Labels: the world as it is

Saturday, February 21, 2009

is this Q&A?

12:00:00 AM

I know a bloody hell lot of you don't get it when I start on my emo-shit talk. This song pretty much sums up all that I've been blabbering about in english. Here's the catch: it's not that clear cut. I make my own definitions, sometimes.



I've been holding on to a little bit longer, for too long now.
If I was right, then how did I end up wrong?

Me: I still don't understand why I was wrong.
Abang Is: Well my dear sis, that's the beauty of art.
Me: THANKS eh.

p.s. in times like these, big brothers definitely don't help much.

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?

Friday, February 20, 2009

and she ran.

10:01:00 PM

There's a reason why God made us sisters.

SO wedenesday was fun! besides starting late, and ending early, of course. Like duh, do you really want me to answer that question? After a day of not-so-helpful lessons, otherwise known as lullaby-periods (a pathetic GP lesson, followed by 2 breaks, malay lit lesson going through poetry and ending the day with econs lecture by the bullet-train teacher), the day got to its climax when i finally met my oh-so-long-never-see-them RADIOS (actually just atiqah, namirah and rashidah) girls. it was SUPER-DUPER-late-night planning by namirah and i, on our bid to just meet up somewhere somehow someplace sometime. and of course, cam-whoring sessions are always expected of us as GIRLS. let me colour this blog with the wonderful very-belo pictures taken on that b-e-a-utiful day!

she insists on having her mugshot taken.

OH yes, ugly is beauty.

since i am (SO) lazy, i just took this compilation of pictures done by A. because it sums up pretty much the time that we had. notice N's million-dollar expressions - it's actually more like priceless! there's more but i figured you've had enough of them already.

OH then rashidah finally came. God knows how much i miss her and her outbursts of laughter. oh oh and all her stupid, nonsense jokes and whatnot. if you think i'm hilarious, i'm really nothing. you should meet R.

i really really really miss taking pictures like these. THANKS babes, for the lovely catch-up and gossips. even if it was just 3+ hours, it really was the best time of the week in idk-how-many-weeks. to atiqah: i will remember your expression, when i told you the hot news/surprise. {& zip your mouth about it.} to rashidah: whatever happens, we'll always be there for you, just like we did for the past 4 years. ILU banyak banyak. to namirah: ILU too, and thanks for the sudden idea of meeting up because it was really worthwhile. to zahidah and diyanah: you owe us lots of meeting-ups and updates on your oh-so-happening lives (i assume).

thursday was damn boring, i think, so we'll skip that. oh oh oh but then there was one time when i was ROFL, during the 3 periods of break. why? "APA TU?!" aka mister masak-mini spoke to me, and that's all you need to know. because by now, you should be too busy laughing, if you know the story. for those who don't, oh nevermind!

today was even more boring, except for the part when my group won the FRISBEE CHAMPIONSHIP during p.e. who ever knew i had hidden talents for the play-anyhow-anyway-you-like-it game? but that's me, expect the unexpected. and if you truly know me, you would have at least seen me doing something that proves this, once. if not, oh too bad.

eg. i shouted out mama mia's REAL name when he was walking past us. i invited "thief" to my 2-cents-worth play like he was my childhood friend. i am now BFF-to-be with R. i'm on talking terms with JR (my A.I. confirm marah!). what else?

tomorrow is parada olympica (or is it the other way round?). in other words, run-like-no-other-day, or if you still haven't figure it out, it's cross-country. OH nadirah and i have a brutal plan for tomorrow. let's see if we can really pull it off. i just hope this shit ends quick, and we didn't get caught while at it. it'll be awesome, and something to be proud of. i'll report back to you, if we ever did this. but for now, wait and see; look and pay attention.

okay, that should be all that i want to put up here, though i think there's more. but it's too long for one post already. so see you when i see you again! XOXO - you know you love me.

(enter my name here)

Labels: the world as it is

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the sparrow is flying

11:44:00 PM

Go on and be happy, you - see if I'd care.

For all the times that you weren't happy beside me.
For all the times that you were hurt most by me.
For all those ugly times, and all the rest too.

p.s. You're lucky I didn't ask you to be perfect.
Otherwise, you'd failed hands down, without a doubt.

{He, whom I love - I wish to be free.}

RADIOS meeting tomorrow - oh happy day!
{on your heels, get your camera set, let's go girls!!!}

(enter my name here)

Labels: the world as it is

Sunday, February 15, 2009

i am born to be selfish

11:11:00 PM

Sit with me, when you're lonely.
Once in a while, you sit with me.

Run to me, when you're lonely.
Once in a while, you run to me.

Listen to me and talk to me.
Smile at me, even if it wasn't for me.

Yes - at least, in my dreams.

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

this is real

11:11:00 PM

It has been a very long, long, long 3 months and 3 days.
It has been a very long, long, long 3 months and 3 days.
It has been a very long, long, long 3 months and 3 days.

you have no idea how much i hate myself right now.
you have no idea how much i really loathe you now.
you really really really have no idea.

Why did it have to be you?
Why was it you?
Why you?

you don't seem to care or bother;
you don't try to ask or wonder;
you and your own world, with or without me.

now i don't know if i know you;
now i don't know what is true;
now i don't know anything.

once upon a time i was falling in love.
now, i'm only falling apart.
what's worse, i fell down real hard.

i can't be bothered anymore if this thing ends tonight.
i won't be bothered anymore to make anything be better.
and YOU, should have told me to stop, when i started.

no matter how far i run, or how high i fly, or how hard i try,
no matter how ignorant you were, or how silly you've been, or if i sigh,
no matter what it was, nothing has changed.

you are forever my best friend, but i'll never be your best friend.
and all of them asked me like i'm 4 year old Ben:
what is the difference, nurulshafienasbintesalleh?

this is the difference -
this different difference is getting different.
do you understand?

A small birthday surprise for our awesome joy-ah, who never fail to bring joy(ah) to the world with her constant laughter and bright smiles. the picture of course captures everyones' not-so-fake smiles and of course, siti's as-per-usual over-the-top expression. oh holy! i'm lazy to upload all the other pictures tonight.

on a lighter note: idk why i'm actually doing this, but i just want to list out the names of those oh-so-big-already 18-ers for the last 2 months and 14 days: SitiKay, Nadirah, Elliot Lucas Marcell (fyi, that's 1 person), Munirah Joy-ah, Azrul Gossip King and Neni Farahin. hope i didn't miss out on anyone. okay now, suddenly i wished i'm 18 too! and to think i haven't even accepted the fact that i'm already 17! somehow, i think i'm still stuck at 16! oh mama mia - shit.

and oh, surprises are good things - i still don't like them if it's for me - no, don't ask why.
but if you're planning one, i'm pretty sure my drama can be of good use.

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?

who let the dag out?

7:07:00 PM

okay okay so how has it been since i last came here? well, i don't think it's long enough to make anyone force me to come back but here i am. now where should i start on my long wordy report to explain my absence?

Orientation 09 was definitely the bomb! besides emerging winner for every single event - ORA, MMM, GMS and FINALE - it was no wonder we were the house champion. like duhh! PHOBOS rocks man! moments during the orientation were beyond words. i have to say: my OG rocks my socks! all the OGLs had a really fun time bonding with each and everyone of the OGMs. each day was even better than the day before. that night when we went for a really really really late dinner {or what it supper?}, i felt like we had known each other for a long time. tsk - i should have brought my camera along because now, i have no pictures to explain my experience. but nevermind, because i am more than willing to describe them to you - only i am not in the mood to do so. the biggest shock to me had to be the finale performance. i was one of the ones i/c of the performance for PHOBOS and to be frank, i had no confidence whatsoever that we would win anything that night as soon as it started. so when i got to know our house was first place for the performance, i swear i was close to tears but no, i didn't cry. (i did break down later on, but we'll leave that out.) and you see, the advantage of being an emcee was that you get to know the results way before anyone else (besides the councillors). when amalina showed to us the results, siti and i were holding each other so that we would not be obvious to show the others that we have known the results. OMG i must say, well done PHOBOS, well done. and now you can truly sa: SECOND TO NONE.

speaking of the orientation, the days to follow have been interesting enough. i have made some new friends that i have never thought of. i can see some of you saying out loud : "OH shafienas is now miss popular!" but hey, i'm still me because even after the many new friends i've made, there are still 3 not-so-cool souls whom i still refuse to even try or bother making friends with. who? let's not get there. if you know me, then you'd know who i'm talking about. if not, it's even worth guessing. (oops, sorry if this hurts you who are friends with them - no offence.)

moving on, talking about making new friends, CCA recruitment went quite well too, i must say. nurulshafienasbintesalleh must have not been in the right state of mind throughout the entire day. if you know what i'm talking about, then yes, i am one of those girls infected by Jannah's disease of acting on impulse. don't worry jannah, it's not a bad thing, good things did happen. but i still wasn't crazy enough to talk to my hot mama mia, even though i was just 6ft. away from him. oh well, maybe next time. oh adn thank god, our play went well. good job drama kings and queens!

{sidetrack} talking about CCA, let's list down some of those CCAs with my dearest heartthrobs in it: ICS (oh yes!), RC, ODAC, oh oh oh and of course, floorball! {haha, i'm really living in denial!} how many heartthrobs do i have at the end of the list? that's one secret i'll never tell. (i told you gossip girl's intern is back for good!)

and did i tell you, although orientation was a blast, i still hate the fact that i had missed so much! since nurulshafienasbintesalleh is the kind to not skip school w/o official reasons, she felt so lost going to school for the whole of this week. sometimes, it even felt like it was useless for her to even continue to come to school. a few days of missing lessons felt like it had been forever. i was always feeling tired throughout the day, besides the fact that i haven't really switched my brain back to study mode. oh well, no pain, no gain; no guts, no glory. - yes, wth!

oh and i just want to say THANKS MUCH (pun intended) to those who gave me the wishes and the presents. i didn't prepare any, but as the day went on, i thought that i should have at least got something to give back in return. but oh well, you know i love all of you! {i'll be sure to give you people something on the REAL international friendships' day} and yes, that includes to my mr R, mr mama mia, mr JR. and oh you-know-who. tsk - i should have made a dedication on friday! hmm, i see we've been bold and daring, right girls?

okay, i think you've wasted enough time reading my not-so-detailed explanation of my absence. and i'm way too tired to even bother to try and remember what has happened over the week. at least i've covered whatever that needs to be told. whatever else that i have missed and not said here simply meant that it's not worth telling you, so you see, i'm helping you here by being oh-so-nice. okay since i've started to MEREPEK, i'm stopping here. so that's all - adios amigos!

(enter my name here)

Labels: pause, play, rewind

Sunday, February 08, 2009

it's still on!

11:00:00 PM

What if?
forever and always,
we will be friends.

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

7 heaven

10:23:00 PM

GP world quiz: a Filipina was fined for dancing _____ in a pub.

my answer: zapin.
(joy-ah labelled it as joke of the century. i say, are you sure?)

the boy really has my heart, but don't ask me how he did it.

i know i said that there are some things that should just be left unsaid. oh well, okay i lied. there are things that i, nurulshafienasbintesalleh, just cannot keep herself from commenting, (some of which are worth sharing and made known about):

1. these pathetic new kids in the block are acting too much, like over-the-top and walking around like they have been in the school since the 15th century. (okay maybe i exaggerate here, but that's not the point.) my point is, they are just so irritatingly annoying with their respective seniors/mentors and especially with that stupid nose-held-high face everywhere they go! i want to slap their face and make it turn like yo-yo. tsk, because of them, MJC feels like it's a mat-ish school; you can really get them at 3 for 10 cents! it's one thing you're still so new, it's another thing you're no one here! tsk tsk tsk - (imagine my super loud and exaggerated voice here) a-alamakkkk...

2. i stress here ( except for my 2 handsome brothers who are enot mats but are ______ boys - they insists on me calling them that) that i really do not have any taste or feeling for all mats. when i say a 'mat' here, i mean like typical malay mat looking like he owns the ENTIRE world and like he thinks he's some hot/charming mister. really, if you don't believe me when i say this (because some people think i am lying), then you should hear me out when i criticise them. you'd believe me in less than 3 seconds about how much i loathe. yes, i am serious. especially ______ boys, they are the last species of Man (if applicable) that i'll associate myself with! but of course, there are exceptions, like if he's really that handsome, or if he's not the typical-mat or if he's super nice actually and i've seen it. oh well, love is blind. ok i should stop, before i contradict myself. a-alamakkkk...

3. i cannot believe i actually had sore throat right before a camp, and now i think i'm having flu. and i think the sore throat, which did go away for a day, is coming back again, even before the camp starts! whattheheck sia! i'm frustrated because i am the kind who falls sick only once a year and having MC is like a once in a blue moon kind of thing. wait i think more like once in 2 years?! and i have to fall sick NOW sia, of all other times. the definition of falling sick here does not include my usual PMS and the ever-so-famous migraine. a-alamakkkk...

4. ZOMG - i have 4 ulcers in my mouth now. one one each side of the walls of my mouth, one on the tip of my tongue, and the last one on my lower lip. {OUCH is definitely an understatement.} so you tell me how should i eat? right now, i'm in the mood where i'm always hungry but i am hating the process of eating because my mouth would hurt so much that i'd feel tired after chewing food for 10 seconds. however, this only applies to the process of eating. talking, gossiping, shouting, screaming etc, all still carries on as per usual - LOL. a-alamakkkk...

5. i am making more enemies in school then i think i am. the rate at which i make enemies is so alarming that it scares me too sometimes. but whattheheck - my mouth, my life, my rules. {i sound like i'm really evil and mean when i'm actually harmless without my voice - my friends would know how loud i can get, and how my words can really 'kill' you.} whatever happened to the nurulshafienasbintesalleh that wants to stop being a bitch? a-alamakkkk...

6. one day i'll say this out loud in front of those mister-coolest-little-boys: BOO SAMA DIA (BOO); BOO BANYAK BANYAK (BOO)! if i can do this, provided my friends don't screw up or make me a fool by talking to myself, i'll be so proud that i will ignore them for the whole year. {of course that is IM-possible, i'll always have something to criticise them about. no, i'm not perfect either, but who cares.} a-alamakkkk...

7. being one of the coolest people in the 'crowd', the others would just have to be so jealous and envious of the attention that you get even when you do stupid stuffs, that they would follow what stupid thing you just did with an even more stupid feel to it. and the worse thing is, they pretend like they started off the trend! of course i gave the limelight to them, since they seemed so desperate about it, but on other days, GTH. and one more thing, these copycats are another bunch of species of humans that i will associate myself with. a-alamakkkk...

p.s. missing classes feels good, but hanging out with everyone around but without nadirah and jannah feels odd. i miss my silent-like-a-cemetery school so much.

p.s.s. i really want to do that walk and talk that we planned (and even practised for) badly in front of those show-off horbits. if you think i am that disturbed by their presence, well yes i am. because the sight of them annoys/bugs/irritates/angers me, and don't you dare tell me not to judge a book by its cover for times like now!

(enter my name here)

Labels: the world as it is

Sunday, February 01, 2009

T.O.P.

5:05:00 PM

TOP of my list.

Mama mia, here we go again.
My my, how can i resist you?

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?

superman and his love stories

12:34:00 AM

We'll be so much less fragile if we were made from steel, don't you think?

I didn't think you'd find me. Why are you here, Oliver?

I didn't think I'd find you. Why are you here, Joanne?

If love was the answer, then could you rephrase the question?

(enter my name here)

Labels: and who am i?