Today is Mother's Day, and this is for my dearest mother, Roos Osman. i dedicate this to her, even ifshe'd never make it to this page in the first place.
"
Ey boleh tahan lawa jugak eh; Siti Nurhaliza pon kalah!"
loving our mothers can be one of the many noble things we can ever do in our lives and of course, sometimes one of the toughest jobs in the world. yes, i love my mother, more than i think i did that is. all the time that i was growing up, everytime she made me angry, and everytime we argued, and every other instances like these, i would go to my room and make a mental note to my future self to never be like her. she was one of a kind, the mother from mars. not only did i not want to be like her, i never saw myself as a mummy's girl.
but today, i proudly say that i am already just like her, in every single way that i could ever imagine. well maybe especially the nagging part that is - that's given. she is the only person worthy to be my mother, and i love her to bits and pieces. yes, she may be unreasonable, irrational at times, over-protective, and blablabla but she does so only and only because i am her one and only daughter. and of course because mothers, will always be mothers.
when i was small, whenever we went out together, there will always be someone to comment how similar we looked. then, i thought that was an insult anyone could say, like they are trying to say i'm as big as her. now, even though i don't deny that i do look like her younger twin, i take comments like that as one of the many things that make me proud being her daughter. she is beautiful, inside and out, and i agree 100% in that.
though we never had that really close mother-daughter bond, she would occasionally take me out shopping. she'd want me to look nice, she'd want me to go everywhere and she'd want me to do many other great things. she has big dreams for me, and those are my dreams too. her tears would definitely make me break down. and her smile is just like mine.
once, i skipped school and i had to confess to my parents about it. when my mother found out, i swear i thought she was going to give me a long lecture on whatever and whatnot. but then that night, she entered my room and asked me if i wanted to tell her something. i confessed to her and right at that moment, she broke down in front of me. she talked about how she never expected me to do these kind of things, and how she would love to see me excel in life since she didn't get a chance to do it. she didn't raise her voice or even bothered to scold me. but what she said and those very tears made me want to be a better daughter since. and though i am still very far from that now, i know that she is my mother, the one who loves her daughter dearly no matter what happens.
my mother - a woman with strong will, patient and loving. she is the kind of mother i want to be for my children (okay maybe not the mars mentality part). she has done far too many things for this family and i thank her from the bottom of my heart. but i guess no amount of thank-you can ever be enough for that. all the things that she does for me is alredy too much, what more for our entire family. no matter how angry i may be at her at times, i would never want to lose her. one day, if she would ever disappear, i swear i'm going to start losing my mind.
oh and another time i was a recipient for Speech Day. my mom was the only one who could make it and i swear that was already enough for me. while i was onstage, she stood up amongst the many other proud parents, and showed me the thumbs up. as i walked off the stage, she strated clapping loudly, as if it was the proudest moment in her life. her smile was so wide; i've never seen her so happy. it was the first time i felt like i had at least managed to repay some of her kindness. later she told me she had wanted to take a photo of me, but she didn't know how to get to the camera function on the phone.
today, i wish that she has had a wonderful life and more happy days to come. i wish for her health and her happiness, and that all her dreams come true. i wish that i could be a better daughter for her and i wish that she'd continue being the best mother for me and my brothers. and of all other things, i wish that she remains the same old mars parent that anyone could ever imagine, for that is just perfect for me. happy mother's day bonda/mummy/mother and many other titles i call her. and thank you so much for everything.
and today, while mother's kitchen was closed, all the mothers in the big family had a treat at mak's place. i'll give full updates tomorrow. for now, i'm just too tired from all the laughing with the small cousins and oh yes, the food!
(enter my name here)
