What amazing lessons can life teach me in one day?
What mischievous things can life do to me in one day?
What shocking revelations can life show me in one day?
What have I learnt thus far?Don't be a friend who happens to be a good girl,
but
be a good girl who happens to be a friend.
Don't just learn to understand,
but to learn to accept it better.
Don't look at them in the eye,
but to
stand in their shoes instead.
I know people may think that I'm way too sensitive at times, but these are just traits of me that I cannot and can never get rid of, even if I want to (which I do). The last time someone made me wait for half an hour, I nearly slapped his face when he finally arrived and then felt like going home.
Today, I decided to embrace patience and ignorance. I know I can be excessively demanding or intimidating and I know even I make mistakes as such at times. But even if I do, how badly would I have done it makes that big of a difference. I'm not angry, neither am I specifically pointing fingers or mentioning names here, because I do not wish to be one that holds on to grudges.
No, I move on.And you know that feeling called guilty conscious?
Today, I wish it never existed at all. When you forget to do it, you'd be asked why later - perhaps they felt like an outcast. When you didn't forget and did it, your efforts just seemed useless because there wasn't a single reply - perhaps they were too busy. When they said they'd come, they didn't say they'd be on time - perhaps it wasn't their fault. At the end of the day you learn one thing: this guilty conscious thingy -
don't bother about it unless it concerns you.Today, I finally realise what it means to really forgive and forget. And being only a human being, I realise I can never be able to do both. There have been too many times that proved this to me. I may be able to forgive but forgetting is a whole new issue. Similarly, I might forget about it but that may be because forgiving was simply out of the picture. As my mom would often say it:
You make my blood go upstairs! Today, my blood didn't just go upstairs, it went straight to the roof!I was looking through my secondary school daily planner and I came across these cut-out words:
People often screw up in their sincere and honest apologies that they intend to offer. Not because they forget to say the word itself, but they don't know what to do after that. Apologizing doesn't stop at just saying sorry, people! 3 steps in saying 'sorry':
- I'm Sorry.
- It's My Fault.
- How Can I make it Right?
There are more than 6 billion people in this world, but it takes only one of them all to make you go from happy to unhappy. It takes that one person to make you be from a hedonist to a conservationist, from a dumbo to a thinker, from a jolly-good fellow to be the common enemy. And of all the things that hit me real hard today was when I remembered what my dear GP teacher said:
Rather than changing something that cannot be changed,
why not change something that can be changed - YOU?
Back then, I wasn't really paying attention in his lesson, even though he was just right there in front of me. But when he said it, my daydreaming just happened to end at that same time. And since I didn't catch the reason why he said it, the words meant something else for me. Something someone should have mentioned before to me, something I never really thought of until now. Don't you see how funny inspirations can be?
So, nurulshafienasbintesalleh, let this be a lesson to you today. Don't you always wonder how parents can be oh-so-forgiving? Don't you always want to feel how it is like to be at receiving end instead? Don't you think that you're actually nowhere near this good girl that you think you are? Today, life tested me when I least expected it. And when I reached home, I saw my dad sitting quietly on the prayer mat. As soon as he was done, I went up to him and kiss his hand and started asking for his forgiveness all over again.
Sabar and Ikhlas - Itu Islam, Fahri.
-Ayat-ayat CintaHaving said all these, I wish to declare that I am not asking for anything from anyone.
World Peace!
p.s. let enjoy your last moments of being 17!
(enter my name here)
Labels: the world as it is
