All that I've learnt this week is that Tuesdays are evil and mean to me, Wednesdays are the lazy-and-still-tired-from-yesterday-day, Thursday is another long day and Friday is the day you sit for tests and have PE too. I really do hate Tuesdays, you know. And I hate whatever system that is being used to get to this kind of timetable because apparently, I think this can really kill me in a matter of weeks. 2 periods of GP, 2 periods of Sastera, PE at the end of the day and then Drama till 8 - please tell me you feel my pain? 50 mins of GP or Sastera can put me to sleep already, what more double of those? Urghh. Oh and please, this better be my last NAPFA. Okay fine, I'm being whiny, and why should I be so tired when I'm not the one in SYF, but whattheheck - idk, i'm just too tired!

Anyways, I'm so addicted to Broken Strings by James Morrison and Nelly Furtado. My mind is really in a mess, and I don't know why. All I know is that this song means so much more than just words right now.

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last change to feel again

I've said too much of all that I want to say, and now I'm speechless. But yet, I've said nothing to you. I don't know what to do. R told me to say just say sorry and blablabla, N just wants me to get over it ASAP, SF thinks I have to face it and let go, D said I'm better off without all this trouble, and S told me to stays strong still yada yada yada. I've got so many options laid out in front of me, don't I? Thanks girls, you all rock. And please do tell me what else I can do, really go on because I appreciate every single one of it. Just don't tell me it's going to be okay anymore. Just don't tell me that everything's going to be fine, even if I said it is, or if it were once.

And I don't feel anything anymore, {not that I want to anyway} and I don't know what is this I feel. All I know, it's not that same old feeling. I feel nothing, even as a friend. And even with all the stress with studies and feeling tired/sleepy, it's not helping me to not think about it. It's really not helping. But this is my life, and this is what life is all about, and you definitely do not have to worry about all "these little things".

I just can't wait for the good times to roll, again.
It wasn't anyone's birthday!





No wait, all I can think of right now, is 24th May.
Please come quickly and let the drama {pun intended} come to an end.

And so, you've seen, there's a lot of thing that I don't know and a lot of others, that I do which are to some extent, irrelevant at times. In other words, sungguh tidak perlu (so not needed). And before more of my merepek-ness kick in, let's stop here.

p.s. This post is practically redundant, but I needed to take a break, and also because I give up on the bloody written report but I just can't sleep. And oh as for the pictures- i'd will put up more and with explanations whatsoever later.

Now, back to Nestle research.
Oh and HAPPY 18th Namirah Naser.