okay school has just been more busyBUSYbusy days for me. with the orientation camp coming soon, and the things that needs to be done after what seemed like forever of planning and all the drama work while balancing on even more confusing concepts of everyday studying including the missed-wellness programme, at least i can now channel my focus to what should have been my priority. it's like suddenly i'm friends with
everyone. hmmm, (not exactly the correct words to put it) but i've just gotten more crazy-seriously-just-making-a-fool-out-of-myself-for-all-everyday kind of person. i get high easily on certain days, and you'd never know what i'll do next. let's just say at least
i get the smiles rather than the same-old-plain-shocked-and-expressionless faces. OH HAPPY DAY!
because everytime i laugh,
a little part of me die inside.
because everytime i see you,
a little bit of me cry inside.
so you answer this for me now:
how many times have you seen me so happy?
what happened to us?
how did we come to this?
where did we go wrong?
why are we so silent?
when will all this end?
these questions are just so yesterday;
i don't care anymore.
you're gone, but i still see your shadow.
you're there, but i still need you here.
i won't beg you to come back this time,
but i know i didn't force you to leave either.
i've gotten used to this feeling,
like it's a part of me.
i've gotten used to this other feeling,
like it's a part of another me.
i don't make the cut.
i can't make the cut.
i'd never make the cut.
so who am i?
Damn you, damn you!
one day, you'd regret this.
but for now, be happy;
while you're still there.i know this is just selfish of me to not update about my currently wonderful/happening/hip/cool-shit/never-stopped-laughing life blablabla but i just need to let this shit out people. i wanted to talk, really i do, but i guess words just don't mean anything already. sometimes what i say just doesn't come out the right way, and it's just so irritating because it's not what i want to say in the first place at all! just a random note: when you think you're something to someone, you could end up as nothing to no one. and then you'd wish you'd be everything to everyone. that's how real villains are born.
{i want to shout and scream - i don't give a damn if i get caught pissing you off. i want to punch you so hard - i don't care if my bones crack. i want to have amnesia so i will stop all this.
sheesh, nurulshafienasbintesalleh, how i oh-so-loathe you right now. stop it bitch!}
p.s. it's one thing it's you, it's another thing it's still you.
p.s.s. at least, i smiled tonight; thanks for that.
(enter my name here)
